I got married

I got Married!!

If you have read my blog you'll know I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. When I started writing this blog I poured out my story, my fears and my hurts and today reaching for freedom has been recognized for what I believe it is. Freedom for me is lack of fear, in circumstances, in relationships, in life, in love, in everything. I can honestly say it was God that gave me freedom and gave it wings. He healed me, filled me with joy and gave me a life I loved. Then he gave me even more. He gave me love from a man again. 

I love being in love...

My wedding day was one of my best days, as I stood outside the sanctuary, I peeped through the door to see him, and the emotions came crashing in, I love this man, the possibility of loving anyone new again at points seemed so far away from the trust that I could find but God changed that when He healed me. I looked at the man who I was about to marry and I felt so excited, loved, and filled with joy. This was my best friend, who had always been there even when he wasn't there. Falling in love with Cliff was easy to do because I loved him already, I trusted him already and I know God knew me enough to know that's what I needed. I am so grateful and thankful, for what has happened in my life. God has blessed me beyond measure. 

My life was not written as a fairy-tale, its real, gritty and at times has not been what I wanted but I can say that God wrote the changes into a story I would not alter because it made me who I am. I know life isn’t perfect but I also know whatever happens and you trust God, He will make it good, and strong and what you need and what He wants for you. He takes the unwritten scary pieces and creates a new narrative that is more beautiful and lovely because He loves us so much.

As I looked through the door, I saw a man filled with love for me and I was filled to overflowing. We were going to live a life together that would be abundant in love, adventure and God. He looked so handsome and strong. My rugged bear of a man who filled me with so much delight. I never know what he’s going to do; he takes pleasure in finding new ways to keep me on my toes and I love that.

I am so excited to see what God will do in us as a couple. Kath wants us to do a DTS like her and work with YWAM, which would be wonderful, but I think that’s her story just now, I want to love this man in the way he deserves to be loved, celebrated for his curiosity, for his playfulness, his craziness and his sense of adventure. I want to learn from him about really caring about people in a way that I see Jesus’ hands and feet and heart being shown through him. He loves deeply, passionately and faithfully and I need him in my life.

I look at him and he is so much like me but different, we have lived very different lives, and yet he’s still so youthful and loving, as am I and I love that. I look in the mirror and say hey that woman is too old to be me and I think he thinks he is 16 too. Which makes me very excited about our lives together because I know adventures lie ahead for us.

God is never finished writing your story, if you allow Him He will create in you a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within you, He will not caste you from His presence, or take His Spirit from you. He will restore to you the joy of your salvation, and He will give you a renewing spirit within you and sustain you. Listen, a renewing spirit within you is so important it’s what gives you hope that you can do this, that tomorrow will be better, that your life can and will begin again. That’s what made me who I am, that renewing spirit. God is faithful at all times and I am so grateful.