And Then I met You…

                          And Then I met You…

As Cliff and I were praying tonight I had this beautiful picture of me and God having a confab about him and it went a bit like this...

Hey Lord look, look at him, isn't he wonderful, look who you made for me, look how he turned out, do you hear what he's saying? What he's asking? Where his heart is? He wants the best for me. He wants your best for me. He really loves me, do you hear him, I think he is so awesome, so wonderful, such a caring and loving man. Then God nudges me and says, Hey you look, isn't he wonderful, I know, I saw him first, I picked him out for you, I knew how he would be, I knew he would love you, you waited a long time but in My timing I gave him to you. You two fit, you will be good for one another, but don't forget Me. I've got to be in the middle, coz I love you more, each of you, grow in love with each other but along side Me. Don't lose Me, don't leave Me behind, take Me with you.

Lord, I won't lose You. I know You love us. My desire, Cliffs desire, is to have You in the center of our relationship, keep us in Your Presence always. 

No compromise...

My Journey Hit a Curve in the Road

          My Journey Hit a Curve in the Road

What are my thoughts tonight! Over the last few weeks there have been some changes for the good and it has set my emotions going in a wee bit of a rollercoaster ride.

Along with John getting married there came a change in feelings and treatment of the family from my ex-husband. My brother after the wedding prayed for him and as a result of this and some other things, he has been treating John and Kathryn in a much more relaxed and loving way and I think he is starting to let some of the guilt go and is now able to just be their dad. This is wonderful but along with this, it has left me with wow, everyone is allowed to be his friend and love him but me. I was his best friend but now he is the father of my kids and married again with one child and one on the way to another woman and I am in love with a wonderful man but where does that leave my emotions?

Some of you reading this may not even understand why I am feeling this way. You may say but she’s in love, their dad finally loves her family. Yes that’s true and wonderful but he was my best friend, my husband whom for the last 10 years I have prayed for to repent and come back into a relationship with the Lord and I don’t get to be part of it. I don’t know how I feel and I don’t like that as I usually can work out where I am coming from.

At first Kathryn felt a wee bit strange too as she thought wow dad is changing but I am leaving, but she is enjoying the change now and loving the open free way that they are able to communicate with each other.

I do know this though God knew this possibility, He loves me has blessed me with a wonderful love who allows me to process and helps me by caring and loving me through it, so I again don’t have to worry as I am loved and now get to love in return…

Wedding Day

Wedding Day

My Son became a husband and flew the nest…

I officially gained a new daughter today, I write officially as for a long time I have regarded her as mine so this day just sanctioned it.

It was the most beautiful and loving wedding ever. Stephanie was the most strikingly beautiful bride ever and John the most handsome man. From start to finish God was in the creation, the middle and the end and His presence was felt throughout. My brother married them and I was so proud of him and he did a wonderful job. Paul’s best man’s speech was funny, uplifting, honoring and made you cry and he did a great job. His dad was great too and said he was proud of him, which made us all cry.

To me it was a lot of change and letting go.

My son became a husband, man of his own house and he has to look after steph now, which is the way God intended, and I am so proud of him even though I’ll miss him in the house tremendously.

When I saw them exchange vows with all the love and joy that flowed I knew I was blessed beyond measure, they have been joined together by God and it was so wonderful to celebrate with them.

The day was nearly perfect and as perfect as we could have… God honored them in every way and I am so grateful.