Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

I just came back from an amazing weekend at the beach, where my love tank was well and truly filled. It began with rain but later the sun broke through and the clouds rolled off and my mind and body began to relax. I love, love, love, the beach, for so many reasons, I don't feel guilty that I have something more important to do, I get a pedicure for free, I have water all around me which is my favorite thing and I get to think, play, and be...

I was brought up in a town on the beach in Scotland. It may not have had the best of weather but to me it was where I could be me, I could rant and rave to the crashing waves and no one could hear me when I was upset, I could sit and spend time with the Lord all cuddled up in a sand dune, I could swim and body surf my energy away, I could just lay and breath, no matter the weather I would just dress appropriately. I love the smell, the noise and the feel of the beach. I love being covered in sand and not caring, my hair all tousled and salty, my body refreshed with whatever type of beach day it was. I can, dream, plan, contemplate or just enjoy being me... I want to stay the longest, and swim the hardest, and stretch ever ounce of time out of my time there, it's me, and it wraps all my senses up in memories, hope, love and just what can I call it… God’s beauty.

I remember long times past. When I was a wee toot and my dad would give us a blow up bed and we would float lazily down the river towards the beach, or when I would awake early, run round to the small corner shop, buy some chips and a bottle of soda and grab a towel and no shoes and my friends and spend the day and well into the night just having fun. As well as my own kids first time to the beach, when they were scared to put their feet down on this wet cold powdery stuff, or them building castles and jumping the waves, we would sometimes stay while the mist rolled in and later rolled back out and cuddle under blankets with a mug of coffee to keep us warm, hoping the sun would peak through just one more time. I went searching for all different beaches around my home, and I loved them all.

Upon moving to America I loved how my body was toasty warm and how so much more relaxed I could get. I would swim past the waves and barely make it back collapsing on my rubbery legs from all the effort trying to make it back to shore. Now we have, umbrella and shade awnings, deck chairs, BBQ’s, sandwiches, hamburgers and what ever else we can carry to make the comforts of home appear at the beach.

It’s probably not just the beach I love but water in general. I am  like a water baby, I have always loved it. Rivers, swimming pools, puddles, rain, snow, in whatever form it takes I love it.

This weekend started out rainy, I must admit I began feeling a wee bit forgetful of good times on the beach in the rain and really wanted sun, sun sun. However I took a wee bit of time to remember why I love the beach and I just knew I would have a good time, building relationships and memories, as this was the first time going with my new family. We were driving to Biloxi Mississippi and taking a boat ride out to Ship Island. Another favorite of mine is boat rides any size, shape, or power it doesn’t matter I just love them. So we reached the island and there was rain and dark clouds as far as the eye could see. It was warmer in the water than out so I stayed out.

It’s such a wonderful feeling being in love on the beach and being with that love. I felt like a teenager again as I frolicked and played with Cliff. We probably looked like basket cases but I really didn’t care … I’m in LOVE, I’m getting married in about 20 days, it’s our time. Then the clouds opened up to a wee bit of blue, we grabbed lunch and the rain stopped and the sun broke through and it was time to sleep. Cliff would call my name as I was snoring and fall back to sleep and continue his snoring and again we probably looked a sight but oh how perfect it was.

Then it was time to go, I would have sold all I had to stay longer but we had to catch the boat so off we set on our travels home and to me the ending to a perfect day.

We dined on shrimp and biscuits with the most delicious coleslaw and finished the evening with a stroll along the pier watching the fishermen bate their hooks and cast their lines with the most perfect breeze blowing to keep us cool.

I awoke early next morning and grabbed breakfast and headed for a wee bit to the pool. Then a leisurely bubble bath followed with a photo shoot on the sand, lunch, a wee bit of shopping and a cuddle in the car. Where we were promptly scolded and told there was a hotel across the road and we were behaving inappropriately as families were close by. Boy I was so angry and ranted to Cliff about how dare the jumped up little security guard with no love left in his life could talk to me like that and wasn’t this the land of the free where you could do anything but smooch with my love. It took a wee while and a few texts to Shelley to make me laugh but I finally calmed down and asked Cliff for one last walk on the beach as he snored in the car.

Yes it did its miracle and the small-minded man who took his job far too seriously was dumped in the dust and the winds blew him from my mind. The sun was shinning, the wind was blowing, the water had it’s sparkle of jewels covering it, the birds were flying, and my feet were digging in the sand and splashing in the waves and I breathed in the salty air and filled my lungs with perfect goodness.

Alas it was time to dust off my tootsies and take a last look at perfection and head home. On our ride home we spotted this small German Italian restaurant at the edge of the road and ate the most delicious Cannelloni and

Jägerchnotzel followed by the best cannoli I have ever tasted along with the best espresso 
coffee and the most impeccable ending was had to the most wonderful weekend. Yes my love tank was well and truly over flowing as we drove and talked and shared memories of times long gone and times not yet shared. Thank you Lord for these wholesome times of blessings and memories made and shared…

So many Thoughts...

So Many Thoughts…

It’s funny I started to write this blog and opened up my email to check something and a friend with a need showed up. I was thinking about justification and how what we do for good sometimes isn’t appreciated and how sometimes even lies are spoken and you feel your pride rushing in and God just says stop, instead of justifying just love. He told me a long time ago that I’ve got to stop trying to let everyone see what’s inside and what I believe of myself and just let Him show but I find that hard to do so I take the reigns and start to take control. Even though I know that He knows better.

So tonight I leave it to Him coz He knows better and He knows bigger. For the past 10 plus years I have been on my own and He has been my husband, my friend, my comforter, my provider, my encourager, my support and so much more. I’ve never had a need that He hasn’t met, be it financial, emotional, or relational. Money has been provided, feelings and hurts have been felt and healed and I have had many people speak into my life and also be there in practical ways too. I have come from a place of complete brokenness to complete healing.

If you have followed my story, you’ll know that I have had friends who have been there for seasons and friends who have been there the whole time. Each is very dear to my heart. From the beginning till now there was Bobby and Shannon, Cliff and Pam, Margaret and Alex, Willie and Isabelle, Cheri, Jenny, Helen, Ramsey, Joyce and Walt, The divorce care couple, Mona, and Jim, Joyce and Callum, John and Rachelle, Lori, Lisa, Lee and Robyn, Len and Tita, Rosemary and Pat, Sam and Susanna, Stephanie, John, Paul, Sarai and Kathryn and many more supported me in prayer for which I am so grateful. Each of them loved and spent time and was needed in my life to bring me to where I am today.

I believe the Lord doesn’t ever want us to go this journey alone. We all need support, encouragement and love. There were days when I didn’t want to get up and my phone would ring and I was encouraged to get up. I have cried and laughed, argued and fought but they still loved me. I am truly blessed.

Now comes a new day and I’m only days from my wedding and I have many people who want to and are celebrating along side Cliff and I. I wanted a very simple wedding and when you have many friends who want to help I know it will all come together perfectly. Again I am extremely thankful and truly blessed.

Tonight I went to leadership and they were talking about the future of the church and I know I am moving away and leaving my cell group and family and it comes with bittersweet thoughts and emotions. I’ve done this before, fallen in love with my church family and had to leave them, but each time God has a plan and works it all out so I have to believe He has this time too. I call this the wrap up my emotions and close down time because you are neither in the future or in the past and are trying to cope with all the emotions you are feeling. Visions are still being set but you are no longer a part of them. It’s tough when you love, to let go. Pastor Sam spoke about change in that of renewing. In away that’s what I’m doing, maybe I’m getting a second chance to work in a church that I thought of as my baby. It’s been along time, it’s grown and changed so much and most people don’t know me but I get to go back and be a part of them. I don’t know what will happen. It’s the next part of my journey.

My daughter in law Stephanie was talking about a plant that grows at my front door (they are going to rent my house while I am gone) and she was asking if she could she it out. I had told them to treat the house as their own to make it theirs and so I said it’s yours to do with what you want but asked her why? She said that it looked more dead than alive. I know she wasn't being negative just realistic and honest. I love how we have such a close relationship that she can speak from her heart like that! When I bought the house one of the things that I loved was the archway of flowers at my front door. When I look at that archway I see potential. There is still growth even though it has to make its way over the dead. I realized I really am a person who sees the glass half full. Yes maybe I see the past as well as the present but I see the future too. I asked her if I could dig it up and take it with me and immediately I started to plan what I would do with it, and how I would look after it much more tenderly than I had done. Will that happen I hope so but I don’t really know but I have to try. I remember when I sold my first home,there was honeysuckle and I loved it and I didn’t take it with me and when I came back to visit it had been ripped out and cemented over. Not everyone sees as you do, I always regretted not taking it with me but had to let it go. There is always change, new people with new vision, and you can either stew about what you’re letting go or move forward and see the adventure that lays ahead. I choose adventure.  

I know that I no longer go this adventure alone but I have Cliff, I have love and I have my best friend, my love, God who knows all things and who has even bigger dreams and plans than I could ever imagine or hope for so I don’t have to have fear but I can have passion, and excitement about what is about to happen.