Discover the beautiful Cavern Behind the Perilous Waterfall

Discover the beautiful Cavern Behind

the Perilous Waterfall

“Boast no more so very proudly, Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth; For the LORD is a God of knowledge, And with Him actions are weighed. “The bows of the mighty are shattered, But the feeble gird on strength . . . “He keeps the feet of His godly ones, But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness; For not by might shall a man prevail. “Those who contend with the LORD will be shattered; Against them He will thunder in the heavens, The LORD will judge the ends of the earth; And He will give strength to His king, And will exalt the horn of His anointed”

(1Samuel 2:3-4, 9-10).

Lately I went through a rather testing time in my life. Something I had thought was going to be such an addition of joy to my home turned into stress and tension, and caused me to fall into judgment and a season where I lacked peace and progressed into dryness in my walk with God.

Have you ever noticed when you think you are so strong in yourself that you turn your eyes away from God and start leaning on your own knowledge, understanding and strength? Your perceptions are distorted and line up with your frustrations, hurts and disappointment in the situation you find yourself in.

I had thought a decision I had made was what God wanted me to do. In looking back I realize just because it’s a good thought, the wrong timing and thinking can turn a good idea into a really bad one. It may seem as though helping someone could only turn out well but depending on who or what you are depending on to enable you to do this can turn the situation upside down.

What started with a heart of compassion and hospitality turned into wrong thinking and judgment!

Relying on my own kindness soon dissipated and dissolved because I had first of all pride in what I was doing. I could do this; hey I was Scottish we are some of the most hospitable folk around. I had learned from the best; my mom exemplified this calling, I had done this before and it was such a blessing to my family and me. I could speak into a life through example and words in a way that all the others before me had failed. Can you hear it, the stinking pride all over these thoughts! Where was my heart? The fixing of the sin not the caring for the saint was my focus. In looking back I wanted to receive thanks and a heart of gratitude. Again I was doing this on my own understanding. God never said anywhere to love because we would be thanked afterwards.

In hindsight I should have made my boundaries clear and precise. Instead my heart began to hurt because whom I invited as family accepted all the benefits with no understanding of the position. I began to feel such tension and stress because I was trying to measure up to perfection and selflessness when all I had was my flesh and lack of understanding of brokenness.

Where am I now? Should I stay in confusion and hurt or should I move past the apologies and break the feelings of pride trying to rear their ugly heads that desire to be heard and understood, which is not healthy for restoration?  No… I cry to God “heal me, give me your heart and squash this flesh”.

It’s so weird in the proving of my strength I discovered a part of me that I never knew was in existence. But that’s just like God isn’t it? He uses our feebleness to become undone so that we choose not to stay in rebellion, or in apathy, or accusation, or even disillusionment. However as I am blessed to be in a relationship with God who is cheering me on to victory, calling me in mercy and love into a new intimacy with him I discovered yet again my dependence on Him can never be laid aside because He wants me to come deeper and closer to total abandonment of my flesh and total commitment to His calling of being set apart from everything this world would expect which in fact is in total opposition to His character and heart.

It’s not our rights that He fights for but our hearts. Yes He collects every tear, He sees every hurt but when they are based on misconceptions and pride He won’t allow us to remain there when we have given our lives over to Him. We often pray for patience, for the Father’s heart to be grown in replacement of ours but when He uses paths that we would much rather not have travelled we squirm, kick and punch screaming for our own techniques rather than bending, or molding ourselves to His hands, the creator of all good things.

Remember He knows where we have been, where we are and where He wants us to go. He knows if we travel only the well-worn paths we will only arrive at the places that have already been visited. He wants to reveal His secret places. He wants to take us deeper through the perilous waterfall into the undisclosed cavern. Where we may swim in the pool of energizing beauty.

I want to swim in depth of His love. I have heard Him laugh. I have felt His heart beat. I have been carried in His strong faithful arms. Cradled in the crook of His arm. All of these places were perfect. I would not give up those experiences. This was different, difficult; a place of pruning; a cutting away of pride, the trimming of flesh that I hadn’t anticipated. I didn’t even know there was bad fruit growing, that unruly winding crooked branches of old remained. Pride is sneaky it can be hidden behind good intentions and will always lead to ruin. In yielding to God I believe I will come into an even deeper freedom than ever before. I feel blessed that He believed I could come through this condition of my heart into a deeper understanding of His.

Unlike David who moved forward into battle depending on the theology of a God he trusted, understood and had a heart after who knew he couldn’t depend on his heritage, his culture or his own abilities. He stepped into his calling knowing his past, understanding the situation because he knew his God had his future. I stepped into my good intentions, without consulting my trusted God, with the strength of my own abilities hidden behind objectives that called for an unjustified result. But I serve a God who uses all my confusion and chaos and transforms it into a trimming and pruning and destruction of the old falseness into even deeper freedom. Knowing He really is in love with me so much that He even tackles the stuff that is revealed through intentional pressure only. We are not promised a life without troubles but we are promised a life of love, protection, and growth if we desire and open our lives up to the burning off of the impurities until He sees His reflection in the gold.