Breath, Trust, Be Active in your Own Life and Bathe in the Sunshine!!

I saw a plastic bag flying freely in the air , it floated in the warm currents of air, swooping and rising in the freedom that it found, then I saw a butterfly just dodging being hit by a car, it flew in between the traffic bouncing over the windshields. I just thought we can fly because of the air and the one who carries us no matter what  circumstances we find ourselves in or we can dodge bullets despite who we are made to be. Profound even if I do say so myself ! 


I awoke this week with a dream, which I thought was a nightmare. I walked through my bathroom door which had become an indoor swimming pool, stuff from my bedroom was floating about and I smiled to myself about my cheeky nephews and their childish adventure. Then glancing around I saw the worst sight. My daughter fully clothed, wearing winter clothes all bundled up was lying at the bottom, I jumped in and she was cold and stiff. My first thought she had committed suicide. I awoke shouting no no and the tears fell on my cheeks. I rushed to pray for her safety and scanned the pages of her Facebook to find her wonderfully smiling face. It left me shaken and questioning what it meant.


 Later when retelling the story I was given the interpretation. My daughter is in Australia at YWAM doing a Dts, and is about to leave for Thailand. She hurt for so long over her dad and I's split and how she felt unloved and abandoned and no longer his number one. This week she told me I should do a Dts and get healed totally. As she had done. 


 Thinking about this I knew she had died, died to her old self and chosen Life and Life more abundantly. A life filled with hope, healing and growth. The baggage that clothed her for so long was dead too. She was free. 


How great is our Father God....


I have been struggling with a few things and when I went out to lunch with a friend, she spoke wise words to me. Hard to hear but if taken freeing. She said she challenged me, that my marriage was dead, he walked away from me and God, that I should stop trying to resurrect the dead. It's like John used to say a dead carcass has been strapped to my back I thought I was carrying life, hope but it had chosen death and was now rotting  and eating into me. I had to move forward not be stiff necked from looking back. She continued to challenge me to be active in my life.


I love to sit and trust and not really move in some things like letting go of John, it's safer not to turn and face forward I know the past , the future is kind of scary. But how if I keep dreaming of freedom will I reach it without actually stepping out of the boat and actually trusting God that the water will hold me.


Two future or maybe even more are in my dreams, challenged to go for it has made me think of my daughter, she chose new birth, death to her old self and life to her future. How wonderful is that. She amazes me, I am so proud of her, she blesses my heart so much. I miss her but love her for going for it. To see her fly is such a joy in my life. I love it. But I can't just watch her live her life and see mine die, I'm young and vibrant too, my 48th birthday is just around the corner. This has been a long 10 years. I chose Life.

No longer choosing the empty, corroded boxes but looking to my God, who knows His plans for me, good plans for my good.

I chose to dance with God despite the circumstances I find myself in. I move Forward...